Cowboy Casanova
by DetectiveObsessed
Summary: Just something my friend wrote after seeing 15.09. Some comedy to get you through hiatus.


_So my friend wrote this! She's actually a very good writer. Her work isn't usually meant for comedy haha. I'm trying to get her to make a fan fiction account. Please review and help me out!_

_For Katie,_

_(For the rest of the fandom, good luck on your hiatus. Y'all might want to listen to Cowboy Casanova before reading this)_

Barba reshuffled his papers. He was tempted to glance behind him to see if the blond-haired detective was in the courtroom, but he somehow already knew that Amanda Rollins was indeed present and listening. He cleared his throat. "Were you ever sexually involved with her?"

Lena's lawyer stood. "Objection, relevance?"

"I'll allow it. Answer, Mr. Davis." The judge looked down her nose as Davis shifted in his seat.

"Yes, I was," said Davis. _So Amaro was right. Amanda is _not_going to like this._

Barba plowed forward, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Until how recently?" He could feel a storm brewing behind him: Hurricane Rollins.

"I'm…not sure." Davis was looking desperately around the courtroom now. His brown eyes darted back and forth from Lena to Amanda. Barba almost felt a bit sorry for him. _Almost_.

"Your best guess, Mr. Davis?" _Come on, just say it. A year, a couple months before—_

"A week ago?"

The courtroom felt positively electric now, but no one was muttering like usual. Perhaps they sensed the hurricane among them. Barba figured Amanda was either glaring them down, glaring _him _down, or glaring Davis down. Or all three at once; that woman had talent.

"Ooookay." _Whoops, _thought Barba,_ that wasn't very professional, but it's hard to stay calm when it feels like you're about to get struck by lightning. _"Are you currently sponsoring Detective Rollins?" Barba braced himself.

"Yes," said Davis.

"And also sexually involved with her?" Barba already knew the answer to_ that_, but before Davis could confirm it for the court, there was a commotion behind them.

Barba spun around to find Detective Amanda Rollins standing up on her chair. _What. The. Hell. _Needless to say, he had not been expecting this turn of events. Neither, it seemed, had the court officers. The judge simply stared, her gavel forgotten on the table.

Amanda was now poking around on her iPhone. It seemed she found what she was looking for, as she adjusted the volume and held her phone aloft._What the ever-living hell is—_

Country music boomed out of the phone, louder than should have been possible. The judge fell out of her chair and the rest of the court jumped in their seats. Amanda's eyes met Davis's, and the man gulped as Amanda gave him a vicious smile before she began…to sing.

_"You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease_

_You're running, you're trying, you're trying to hide_

_And you're wondering why you can't get free_

_He's like a curse, he's like a drug_

_You get addicted to his love_

_You wanna get out but he's holding you down_

_'Cause you can't live without one more touch._

_He's a good time cowboy casanova_

_Leaning up against the record machine_

_Looks like a cool drink of water_

_But he's candy-coated misery_

_He's the devil in disguise_

_A snake with blue eyes_

_And he only comes out at night_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life."_

Barba felt as though he might feint. He stared slack-jawed at Amanda, who actually had a pretty good voice, especially taking into consideration that she hadn't warmed up before singing this. She was still singing, actually.

_"I see that look on your face_

_You ain't hearing what I say_

_So I'll say it again_

_'Cause I been where you been_

_And I know how it ends_

_You can't get away_

_Don't even look in his eyes_

_He'll tell you nothing but lies_

_And you wanna believe_

_But you won't be deceived_

_If you listen to me_

_And take my advice_

_He's a good time cowboy casanova_

_Leaning up against the record machine_

_Looks like a cool drink of water_

_But he's candy-coated misery_

_He's the devil in disguise_

_A snake with blue eyes_

_And he only comes out at night_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life."_

By this point, Barba was standing in the doorway of the courtroom, looking in at Amanda still singing what he figured was called Cowboy Casanova. It _might_ have been by Carrie Underwood, but Amanda was singing over the original artist, so he couldn't be sure. Barba glanced once more at Davis's hilarious facial expression, which was somewhere in between horror, fear, and mind-numbing panic. The judge was unconscious, and the rest of the courtroom was in an uproar, with some of the jurors swaying and singing along. Lena, surprisingly, looked like a kid in a candy store as she observed the chaos and listened to Amanda sing.

_"Run run away_

_Don't let him mess with your mind_

_He'll tell you anything you want to hear_

_He'll break your heart_

_It's just a matter of time_

_But just remember_

_He's a good time cowboy casanova_

_Leaning up against the record machine_

_Looks like a cool drink of water_

_But he's candy-coated misery_

_He's the devil in disguise_

_A snake with blue eyes_

_And he only comes out at night_

_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight_

_You better run for your life."_

Barba stepped out and gently shut the courtroom doors as the final stanza arrived and Amanda finished strong.

_"Oh you better run for your life_

_Oh you better run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!"_


End file.
